'Queenie' Book Review

I just finished reading a book called 'Queenie' written by Candice Carty-Williams. I bought it last October at the Heathrow airport when I waited for the flight back from visiting my boyfriend. I chose it simply because it has the cutest cover design... You can feel different textures on the lettering and the colour combinations of pink and gold caught my eye. I'd attempted to finish it several times but never succeeded until today despite the accolades as the best book from newspapers (Guardian, The Times, Sunday Times, Daily Mails). 

Queenie is a 25-year-old Jamaican British woman, living in London. She has struggled with mental health since her childhood in relation to her family. She tried to hide at the beginning, but after the state of 'we are on a break' with her long-term White boyfriend, it becomes prominent, resulting in her self-destructive behaviours. This book explores Black stereotyped identity and their discriminative everyday experiences. It allows me to think of 'Black Lives Matter' issues and I feel that as an Asian, I could somewhat relate as it is happening to our Asian society along with the recent movement of #STOPASIANHATE likewise BLM.  

That being said, I didn't really like it because it was too depressing to me. Queenie's mental situation eliminates her self-esteem which is most obvious in her sex life. She has casual sex with disgustingly disrespectful men who treat her as nothing but a sex object, fetishizing her body as a Black woman and fulfilling their sexual fantasies. These descriptions were incredibly sad. She doesn't stop letting them have sex with 'her body' (this is how she described) either because having sex makes her believe that she is 'being normal' without any mental illness. She also justifies the sex as a stopgap while she waits for her boyfriend to realise he can't live without her. I felt empathy for Queenie but I was tempted to stop reading several times because I couldn't bear the sadness and anger especially this sexual depiction brought up for me. 

I'm wondering why sexuality, especially the act of having sex holds complex implications. Sex is a lot more than a natural human experience in our society. One of the biggest effects is, I think, to promote a stronger connection with the partner or the society you belong even if it's casual sex. Quennie has sex because it's her way of lessening her isolation and aloneness or distracting herself from the issue of her identity and existence by physically connecting with someone. In a relationship, people have sex as a form of romance and a strong bond. We cannot forgive if our partners sleep with someone else because this means that they have a hidden private connection with the other behind our back and proves that the bond between the two which they thought it's real is actually fake. 

While I cannot deny that sex is crucial biologically, psychologically, culturally and socially, I think our society should learn more about how to get intimate without having sex. My LDR experience with my boyfriend is actually good in a way in which I can develop my skills to express and deliver love to him without any physical contacts. I get to know him through emotional aspects of sexuality which are discovered through profound feelings or physical manifestation of love, trust and care. The word 'sexy' seems subjective and ambiguous, but in my opinion, those who are sexy are synonymous with 'attractive' in a way in which they have strong ambition, passion and energy. Being sexy doesn't mean exposing your body or imply some sort of eroticism. It rather highlights the attractiveness of their personality I think. So when he tells me about his work, I find him sexy (attractive) because I can see how hardworking and responsible he is. I feel secure when he cares about me and listens to me, which brings out his 'caring masculinities'. When he wears suits, I always say to him that he is sexy because he looks professional and smart. 

Sexual contents are good for dramas, but 'Queenie' reminds me of how our society is seized by physical sexual contacts as a means to confirm where we belong, and there seems to be a blurred line between sexuality and eroticism.