My Grandpa

 

Happy Birthday to my grandpa!

I wish you are happy watching us from heaven and enjoying seeing how I've grown up. 

His birthday is on 29 April and if he were alive, he would have turned 89.

He wasn't talkative but always sweet. I knew that he loved me so much.  Hugging his big belly was my favourite. (He used to be a sumo wrestler in high school who participated in the national competition). I remember his smell from his hair styling product and I loved it. When I started to play the flute at age 9, he got it to me, and which is my treasure since then. He was the biggest fan of me playing it and always asked me how the practice was going. 

I've been missing him since he passed away 13 years ago, nevertheless, I feel the pain more than before these days. Maybe that is because in the past few months I try to find my own ways to live my life by reading books and discussing them with my family, which makes me feel the strong need for my grandpa's wisdom life advice. When I lost him, I was 11 years. I was too young to recognise what he had achieved in his life. 

He was a doctor. He worked at a university hospital at first but opened a private clinic when he was in his 40s. Until when he found his disease and hospitalised about 1.5 years before passing, he worked without any break except for the only once that he joined the volunteer for sumo competition held in his hometown. He was very hard-working. I wasn't aware that at the time as he was a sweet grandpa who played at his clinic when no patients were there, but now I am very happy to hear from my family about how great he was. 

He was also a tough guy. When his disease was found, it was expected that he would not be able to live even in 1 year. But he lived for 2 years after the announcement. He never spoke about the pain he suffered to anyone. I never knew he was that sick because he never showed that to me. When I visited him in a hospital, he just smiled and gave me the whole bite-sized orange in his hospital diet. He must have been scared of understanding that he didn't have much time left since he would have known how bad his situation was at a realistic level as a doctor.

I am proud of him and being his granddaughter and that gives me energy and confidence to move forward.  And more than anything, I am so thankful that he loved me unconditionally. 

We miss you, grandpa. My grandma sometimes complains about you but look happy every time she says about the time you told her that you would marry her again in the next world. I wish you could grant me your wisdom and knowledge with stories of your life. But actually, I guess you would be too shy to talk these things so instead, treat me to delicious food and cheer me up haha

Thank you grandpa.